Swami Krishnananda-My Life, en
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MY LIFE
Autobiography of
Swami Krishnananda
The Divine Life Society
Sivananda Ashram, Rishikesh, India
(
Internet Edition: For free distribution only
)
Website: www.swami-krishnananda.org
PREFACE
Swamiji felt that he should write something about his early days of such struggle and
suffering. It would read like a meandering story in different phases, which would be
sometimes humorous, tragic, and successful. It is here for what it is, and all should be
considered as well.
- THE DIVINE LIFE SOCIETY
28
th
February, 2001
My Life by Swami Krishnananda
1
MY LIFE
When I was about 6 years old I was sitting in the verandah of the house. I was born in a
very orthodox Madhva Brahmin family. We traditionally believe in Narayana as the
ultimate Reality and the goal of life. This is the Madhva principle. Suddenly I called my
father who was inside and told him, “According to our family tradition, Narayana is
supreme.” Then I asked him, “Is Narayana all-pervading?” He said, “Yes.” “In that case
He is also everything.” My father said, “Yes, it must be so.” Then I asked him, “Where
are we sitting now? Are we sitting on Narayana Himself, as Narayana is everything and
is everywhere?” The father told me that I’m a small boy and I don’t understand anything
and should not ask such questions. There our conversation ended.
But this question to which I could not get an answer haunted me, and even today at my
late age this question has not left me and is persisting for an answer. I am a Madhva
Brahmin and this orthodoxy is still persisting in everything.
Though I have read practically every type of philosophy, both Eastern and Western, and
no one can stand before me in philosophical arguments or religious doctrine at the
present time, and therefore I am fully satisfied as regards all the philosophies and all the
religions of the world, though these philosophies appear to be different from each other
and religions also differ from each other, I have with my own rational capacity tried to
bring them together, and to me now there is only one philosophy and one religion. I do
not any more see many philosophies and many religions; they just don’t exist for me. I
agree with Chesterton who said: “There can be only one cosmic philosophy and one
cosmic religion, and those who are believing in many philosophies and many religions
are asking for many skies, many suns and many moons.”
I grew up in maintaining my Madhva tradition, which makes me feel that I am a holy
man born to my father who was an example of holiness and piety.
I saw my father reading some book every day before the midday meal and also another
book after the meal. I asked him what he was reading. He retorted that it was not meant
for me, and when I insisted, he said that it was Srimad Bhagavatam that he was reading,
and Sundara Kandam of Valmiki Ramayana. He also added that the Srimad Bhagavatam
is a holy book and I should not touch it as I do not know what it means. Sundara
Kandam is read for the destruction of enemies and opponents, if any.
He would get up in the morning and survey the fields and the coconut trees to see how
they were. Then he would come back and take bath about 9:00 or so in the morning and
then start his Puja, which would last for about 4 hours. He would worship every God
conceivable, the Panchadevatas as they are called. As we were all boys born to him, we
had no right to ask the mother to give us food until the Puja was over. When the Puja
was over he would come out, then the mother would stretch banana leaves for our food,
and then we would start eating. After we washed our hands he would sit with me and
teach me pronunciation of the Rigveda Samhita, and I knew by heart the whole of the
Pavamana Suktam, a long thing in the ninth Mandala of the Rigveda. He also taught me
Mahasaura Suktam. All these I learned from him with the Rishi, Chhandas and Devata.
All these I knew by heart. When he was doing the Puja inside the room, I was sitting
outside in the verandah and trying to learn by rote these Veda Mantras. If I made a
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mistake in the Svara (intonation) of the reading, he would only make a sound, “Hum
Hum” in the middle of his Puja, which indicated that I had not pronounced properly. My
Vedic knowledge is due to my father. I learned some rituals like Mahamrityumjaya
Yajna and some specific Mantras from my mother’s father who was an expert in these
things.
At noontime when we were about to eat food, we would chant the Fifteenth Chapter of
the Bhagavadgita. One of my colleagues, some other boy, told me that the Fifteenth
Chapter occurs in the Bhagavadgita, of which I knew nothing actually. When the father
was out of station, I opened his Bhagavatam copy and tried to understand what it
meant. When he returned from his outing I told him that I had seen the book and I
understood it. He said, “Oh, you touched it, why did you touch it? It is a holy book; you
cannot understand it.” I said I did understand because I had knowledge of Sanskrit. He
told me to read a passage and explain to him what it meant, which I did to his
satisfaction. He taught me many other Mantra Suktas of the Vedas, connected
practically with all the Devatas for welfare, as well as for the destruction of evils
including enemies. Now comes the answer to my question, “Where do I sit when God is
everywhere?” I ransacked and studied all the philosophies and all the religions. I came
to know that there is only one philosophy and one religion. Those who think that there
are many philosophies and many religions do not know what they are seeking.
I have learned the art of
Total Thinking
. For me there is only One Thought and every
thought is included in it. Everyone’s thought is a part of that thought. I tried to think as
God would think. What would God think about his creation? Would he have loves and
hatreds for some part of his creation? Loving God would mean loving the whole
creation. This thought is called meditation. Now the time has come for me to enter into
the
Virat Purusha
who is seeing me with His all eyes, through all His heads, -
Sahasrasirsha Purusha
.
I was a poor man, financially very poor. I suffered with extreme poverty not because I
had no food to eat, - I had very good food in the house and that was not my problem. I
left my house in search of the higher values of life. And that journey of mine to the
Sivananda Ashram involved my contact with many places and many persons, in each of
which I learned something noble. A Brahman called Sridhar Bhatt came to Benares by
chance with only Rs. 200/- in his hand. A marriage ceremony was performed by a
Pandit scrupulously and in an orthodox manner and within one hour the whole
ceremony was over. At that time the Tiruvanantanpuram Kshetra that was catering food
to selected people every day had an excellent cook of the Kerala type. He was called for
cooking the food to which he agreed, and the invited people for the ceremony were fed
sumptuously, all in less than Rs. 200/-. When he said he was now preparing to go to
Haridwar, I told him, “You may take me also.” Some well-wishers came to me and told
me that I should not mix up with Sadhus and Sannyasins. And he spent out of his pocket
Rs. 8/- to purchase the ticket for me from Benares to Haridwar. He gave me half a
Rupee to go from Haridwar to Rishikesh in order to reach Sivananda Ashram. This is my
story. I saw Swami Sivananda in the evening at about 3:30. Some few others were also
there with me but Swamiji did not utter a word; he finished his work of seeing the daily
post and went away. It was on the third day he called me and settled me in the Ashram.
Swami Sivananda did not talk to me for 3 days. I felt disgusted as there was no food to
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3
eat and I did not know that anybody was eating food in the Ashram at all; I thought they
would be eating some leaves. The only person who came to me on the second day
perhaps was one Swami Gopalananda who, as he said, was serving Swami Sivanandaji
Maharaj even in his Swargashram days. This Gopalananda brought to me on the second
day a dry
chapati
with a little sugar on it. I am feeling grateful to him even now for the
first item of food I got in this Ashram. He said, “There is vegetable also, rice also, but
now it is 3:00 in the afternoon, so I cannot get anything at this time.” While I am deeply
grateful to Swami Gopalananda whom I can never forget because of his kind-
heartedness, I was deeply concerned over my fate even on the third day when I had no
indication that I could stay in this Ashram. It was in the evening of the third day when,
in a disgusted mood, I was walking on the narrow strip of land on the bank of the Ganga
that Swamiji saw me and beckoned me to him. That was the day of my blessedness. He
called me and asked me who I was and what I wanted. I gave a childish answer with
which he was not satisfied, but directed me to Bhajan Hall to do Akhanda Kirtan of the
Mantra
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
. He said, “Don’t go anywhere; I will see that Kings and
Presidents will touch your feet,” all of which I could not understand; they were just
Greek and Latin. I thanked the Swamiji and, before I left, he told me to go and take food.
I did not know where the food came from. He pointed out to the verandah that is now a
part of the Post Office structure. I went and sat there with others who were all eating
chapatis
and some vegetable. Though I never ate such food, for a man like me who
starved for long days, that food was like nectar. I joined the Akhanda Nama Sankirtana
Yajna under a person called Tirumala Acharya who took me into the fold when he
learned that Swamiji himself had sent me to him. I did the Mantra Japa in the Bhajan
Hall for several days, when again Swami Sivananda called me and asked me whether I
knew typing. When I said, “Yes, I know typing”, he asked me for how long had I
practised typing. I said that for eight months I had practised, which satisfied Swamiji
very much, because a person who has done typewriting in an institute for eight months
must be a very able one to assist in the daily work of Swamiji himself. He gave me some
letters to which I had to give a reply, and also some manuscripts of his own handwriting
that I had to type out in three copies. Swamiji’s system was that when typing a
manuscript it should always be in three copies, so that if it happens to be lost, at least
one copy will be there out of the three; a wise method of preserving copies. Day by day
Swamiji became more and more interested in me. Whenever I used to give replies
directly by myself, Swamiji used to tell me, “Show it first to Sridhar Raoji and then only
bring it to me.” This Sridhar Raoji, incidentally, is almost the first person whom I met
on the Ganga bank when I went for taking bath while he too was bathing. He was
recognised in the Ashram as a great scholar in English, and so it was that all literary
works were referred to him before they were finally given to Swamiji himself. This
Sridhar Rao is actually Swami Chidananda who became later the President of The
Divine Life Society.
For some peculiar reason we both became very great friends, constantly consulting each
other in every matter. He was kind to me even when I did several foolish acts, such as
wanting to leave the Ashram on a long northern path. Swami Dayananda, who joined
the Ashram later, joined me in this foolish act of renouncing everything and starving on
the road. But in a few days he could not continue to follow me, saying, “I cannot come
with you anymore” and turned back. My fingers lost sensation and crumpled as if I was
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